For better or worse, In Titled times and un-Titled times.


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As a “pastor‘s wife” for the last almost 15 years, the issue over titles has been a hot topic.

I fully believe in honor, In a time when respect is so scarce in the world We should teach honor and respect. We encourage all our members to respectfully call our Pastor’s with their title. We train our interns to use titles respectfully and require it while they are learning about honoring those in authority.

Oh the delicate balance of when it is a respectful thing to do and when it is a required and forced issue. Usually the issue is thrown off balance by insecurity in the heart of a leader!

As a newly wed, youth pastor & brand new church secretary I encountered this “title” issue in a way that marked me for a great time.

I was taking care of business in the church office, when one of our church members came in and asked to see the pastor. This man was not in a place of leadership in our church. I respectfully called him by his name and attempted to ask him to wait for the pastor to become available. He became irate and started yelling at me because I had been so disrespectful. I was thoroughly confused until I realized that he considered himself a Pastor and expected me to call him “Pastor ______”. My husband who was in the next room over and our Pastor quickly came to my rescue and assured the man that he was out of line. He had “title inferiority complex” :o)

I think that many women in ministry struggle with this title issue… and for many reasons.

Some churches resist women in ministry but our church has been ahead of it’s time and fully supports women using their gifts to their full potential.

Truthfully, there have been hidden moments in my heart when I questioned my authority because of my lack of official title. It was about 5 years into youth ministry when I had the honor of being called pastor as I became that in their lives. Since then, I have learned who I am with or without a title.

I know what my calling is and I have been released by my church to minster, regardless of title! Whether I am on stage or caring for my children in our pew, my call remains the same…. to Pastor People! NO matter what my job is for the day is, I am called to love on people.To care for the hurting to pray for the needy. To mentor, to train, encourage and raise up leaders. I am called to bring and use my full gift set in the body of Christ

Here is what I believe God told me… The enemy is looking for any way possible to discourage, dismantle and frustrate all of us who serve the church. He knows that He cannot dissuade us from following Christ… So his next best scam is to render us useless. If we feel under-appreciated or dis-empowered we tend to shrink back. Sometimes when we don’t have a title we stop pushing forward and serving to our full potential.

Do not let this title issue get in the way of what God wants to do in and through your life! If you are truly a leader, you will never have to force anyone to call you by your given title. And if you are truly properly released a leader, your leadership will not be marked by your lack of title.

I have counseled countless women who have struggled with this issue of title. I have since seen so many people throw titles around and in turn seen many who have become offended and angry over when someone forgets to use the title.

This frustration comes from a place of insecurity!!!!

Insecurity causes anger, frustration, and a lack of grace under pressure.

Sometimes our insecurity is out of jealousy and envy of others who have a title or seem to be more honored than you. This is a dangerous place to be ladies~ Put your eyes on the One who called you and Do not compare yourself!

We must get past the title issue and find our security in Christ alone, Serve Him will our whole hearts and honor those around us. I feel honored to call others Pastor and it is my privilege to be mentored by some of the best. They have never once required me to call them Pastor or been offended if I did not. They know who they are in Christ already!

My Prayer today is that the enemy would not be able to intimidate you with this title issue. Rise up and be the woman of God that you have been ordained from the foundations of the earth to be. Choose to respect those around you and allow God to conform you into His image.

Don’t shrink back, hold back or step back! The one who called you will also enable you!

I Timothy 1:12 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Linda says:

    Thank you for these wonderful words, I just happened to find your site. I have been a Pastor’s wife for 10 years and God called me into the ministry. I was so struggling with what to do with that call. I know I have the gift of teaching, I teach Sunday School and Bible study at times but I know there is so much more I can do and I feel so stagnated right now. I am compelled to go into this new year doing more. I want to start a Discipleship group and some of the things you have on your site have already inspired me. Continue to be blessed and be a blessing.

    Like

    1. bayareamomma says:

      so glad you found me here. ministry can be lonely and challenging, but it is worth every minute… have you checked out Leadingandlovingit.com
      if not… its a great resource for encouragement. be blessed :o)

      Like

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