Day 10 – Ephesians 5:21-33
“Maewige, maewige is what bwings us togever today….. ” I remember sneaking in with a friend to the movie theater as a jr. Higher to watch the princess bride. I was mesmerized. And growing up with “princess dreams” my whole childhood, I came into my marriage with a pretty serious list of expectations for my man to fulfill.
While I definitely think I “deserve to be treated like a princess” 🙂 lol. Sometimes in marriage and relationships we can be so self serving and “deserving” that we are just plain selfish.
This passage of scripture is one of most contested & miss-used. So let’s look at the bottom line. What was the point? God is always looking to bring unity and restoration into our relationships. The bookend scriptures tell a lot about what is important.
The first verse in this portion of scriptures says:
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…. ” In other words: Be kind, put others first, be considerate, love others.
This word Submit can be scary. It is not instruction to let yourselves be walked on. It is Simply: When you choose to love someone you choose to honor them and put them first- This verse is instruction to us all. Married or not, male or female.
Jesus boiled all the commandments down to Love God and Love others.
This last verse is just genius! It is directed to marriage. “Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
While counseling over the 16 past years in ministry and even in my own life I have seen a few trends: It seems that:
Women of all personality types have a deep heart felt need to be loved, to have someone care for them, to feel special. Women give love out easily because it is natural to them and needed by them.
Men have a need given to them by God to be respected! They desire to be looked up to, to provide and to have their efforts acknowledged. It’s easy for guys to give out respect for others. It comes natural.
Guys would be ok with just being respected, because to them that IS love… women would feel empty if their husband only respected them but never showed love.
Everyone desires both love and respect to some degree- but our genius God knew what we needed to remember – a way to keep marriage healthy!
Both of these: love&respect are needed in a healthy marriage.
Women- we forget to respect often. We find ourselves “mothering” instead of respecting. The things we used to like about them now become frustrations. We must remember to be our husbands #1 fan! It does take extra effort but we must give attention to respecting our men…. so if we are really loving our husbands, we will respect them also.
Men- are instructed by God to choose to love their wives…. As much as they love themselves and even as Jesus loves the church and gave himself up to death for her. I’d say the guys job is much bigger! Lol.
So bottom line: Choose to love and respect each other out of reverence for Christ.
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:21, 33 NLT)